01 / 07
Spotting a Drinking Problem in Someone Close
Signs of alcohol abuse can include:
- Drinking larger amounts or over a longer period than intended
- Unsuccessful efforts to stop drinking
- A strong desire to cut back on drinking
- Spending a lot of time drinking, getting alcohol, or recovering from the effects of drinking
- Giving up other activities because of drinking
- Continued use despite relationship problems that are caused or worsened by drinking
- Drinking even when it is physically dangerous such as when driving or using machinery
- Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking
02 / 07
How to Open the Conversation
A private walk or quiet room can make for an easier conversation. Find a time and place where your loved one is likely to feel at ease.
Be direct. Talk about your concerns in a clear and kind way. Mention specific behaviors or problems, as well as what you like about them when they are sober.
Ask how the other person feels. This opens up the opportunity for them to tell you more about what's going on with them and why they do things they do.
Listen actively without judgement. Avoid interrupting and allow them plenty of time to talk. Ask questions, and paraphrase to confirm understanding.
Show compassion and respect. Try not to be dismissive or critical. Offer hope by saying that there is help available for their situation.
Consider how you will respond to any negative reactions your loved one might have. Be prepared to offer support if they start to get defensive or upset. Remember that it may take several conversations before they're ready to seek treatment.
Don't be discouraged if the first conversation doesn't go well. Be patient, stay positive, and keep trying.
03 / 07
Moves That Usually Backfire
Moves that usually backfire include staging confrontations (a.k.a., "interventions"), shaming or lecturing the drinker about how bad their problem is, and trying to get them to stop drinking by issuing ultimatums.
Instead, try to be compassionate toward your loved one. Keep in mind that there are a variety of reasons why people can't quit using alcohol on their own. If you feel overwhelmed or at the end of your rope, ask for help yourself. It's important for you to take care of yourself.
An intervention is a planned meeting between the person with AUD and family members or other loved ones. The goal is to confront the person about the problem and convince them they need help.
Interventions are often portrayed in movies and television shows as highly dramatic events involving confrontation, humiliation, and threats. However, this approach usually does more harm than good. It can be very upsetting and traumatic for the person with AUD. They may feel that you're only trying to "fix" them because of something they've done wrong or because you have some kind of control over them.
If someone in your life has a drinking problem and you don't know how to approach them, you might consider talking to a mental health professional about the situation. A therapist can help you plan how to talk to your loved one and offer guidance on what steps to take next.
04 / 07
Looking for Treatment Together
Looking for treatment together can begin with talking. Start by letting your loved one know you are concerned about their drinking or alcohol use disorder and that you're willing to help them get the information and support they need to make a change. If your loved one is not ready to talk, you might want to consider reaching out for support.
Here are some ways you can talk to someone about getting treatment:
- Ask directly: "What do you think would help?" or "Would you like some help finding options?"
- Ask a provider (such as a primary care doctor) for support or treatment recommendations.
- Encourage a loved one to make an appointment with their primary care doctor. If someone is hesitant, you could offer to go with them to the appointment to provide support.
The decision whether to seek treatment is personal. A loved one's decision should be respected if he or she has not put you or others at risk. You can discuss your concerns with someone who is in denial, but a person must eventually choose to enter treatment. This may take time.
If a loved one is ready to get treatment for alcohol problems, families can help by going with them to their first appointment or supporting other ways to stay engaged in recovery.
05 / 07
When the Situation Is an Emergency
If you think a loved one is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 immediately and tell them what's going on. If possible, stay with the person until help arrives.
If there is a possibility of an alcohol overdose, get the person to lie down on their side and wait for medical help to arrive (or take them to the hospital). Signs of this include:
- Slow, shallow breathing
- Bluish or grayish skin color
- Unconsciousness
If your loved one is experiencing symptoms of withdrawal or delirium tremens, call a doctor right away or go to the emergency room.
The following are some warning signs that someone with alcohol use disorder may need immediate medical attention:
- The person has passed out or fallen unconscious
- The person has become delirious (seems confused and unable to think clearly)
- The person is having hallucinations (hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there)
- The person has stopped breathing or has no pulse
Severe alcohol withdrawal can become life-threatening and require emergency medical attention.
The Ohio CareLine staff connect callers with mental health, substance use, or other resources they need in their communities.
If you are worried about alcohol withdrawal, don't let someone who has been drinking heavily stop suddenly on their own. A doctor may prescribe certain medications to reduce the risk of complications and help prevent seizures.
06 / 07
Support Aimed at Family Members
Al-Anon (and Alateen for teenagers) provides support groups for families and loved ones of people with alcohol use disorder. Each group has its own meeting schedule, but all follow a 12-step program adapted from AA. Group members share stories about their lives and experiences, discuss what they are going through, and help each other to better understand and respond to the problems posed by someone else's drinking.
SMART Recovery also has peer-led support group meetings.
It is important to remember that AA, Al-Anon, and other mutual support groups are not therapy or treatment. While these programs can be helpful, they should not take the place of professional help when needed.
Helping a loved one overcome an alcohol problem can seem overwhelming at times. You may be able to find groups through your local treatment program, counseling center, or hospital.
07 / 07
Protecting Your Own Health While Helping
Protecting your own health while helping means taking steps to reduce the stress that you may feel from being a caregiver for someone with AUD. One way to do this is by finding time to take care of yourself each day, through activities such as exercising, taking walks, spending time in nature, meditating or praying, journaling, writing poetry or other creative projects, listening to music, and participating in hobbies.
Protecting your own health while helping also means communicating openly with the person you are supporting about any issues that you may be having so that you can work together to find solutions. This may involve expressing to them what types of behaviors from them are not acceptable, setting boundaries around those behaviors, and discussing how you plan to respond if they engage in those behaviors again.
It is also important to prioritize your own self-care by making sure that you are getting enough rest, eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, and taking breaks when needed. If you feel like you are struggling to cope with the stress of caring for someone with AUD, it may be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional or join a support group.